postheadericon Our Ex Girlfriend Rejected Me – Will That Mean That I Have No Chance of Getting Her Back?

Getting rejected by any woman will probably hurt. You don’ t awaken in the morning and hope that somebody rejects you today, do you? Nope. When the woman who does the rejecting is an ex girlfriend, it can hurt ten times more than it would had it been a woman you’ d never ever met before. It can mean that you really feel like the dream of getting back together with her is dead and that is not a good way to feel, is it? Does it mean that you will never be able to get her back if your ex girlfriend rejects you?

Sometimes yes, and sometimes no .

The point is, when you get turned down by your ex girlfriend, you should realize that it means that your approach definitely wasn’ t working. So , at the very least that needs to modify. However , it should also point a person in the direction of deciding that it might be time to just move on and find someone else to date.

Here are some tips that might help push you in the direction of moving on:

1 . Keep your ex girlfriend open up as an option for a later date, but understand that for now, it is good to get away and meet other women.

Going out to meet other women doesn’ t mean that your ex girlfriend is NEVER going to get back together with you, it just means that you are going to place yourself in a position where you are able to observe yourself having a good time with other women so that you know you don’ t have to feel like your ex girlfriend is the just woman you can be happy with.

2 . Sometimes the very act associated with moving on is enough to attract your ex girlfriend’ s interest again.

She may not want a person when she knows that you are simply sitting around and hoping that will she’ ll come back to you, but showing her that you really are ready to move on can be enough to make a person seem a little bit more attractive. It’ s i9000 funny that it can work out by doing this, but quite often it does. If you are able to show your ex girlfriend that there are additional women out there that want to be with you, that can make you seem like more of the “ catch” in her eyes and at the very least, it shows that about to catch going to just sit around plus hope that she comes back to you.

7 Responses to “Our Ex Girlfriend Rejected Me – Will That Mean That I Have No Chance of Getting Her Back?”

  • Blake:

    My ex girlfriend broke up with me last night via text messaging. the week prior to our conversation last night, I had sent her messages like goodnight, thinking about you, miss you, that were not returned. She is in a program that she is busy during the week, with classes and meetings. The last time I saw her was a week after she almost died, requiring surgery, to save her life. She was in ER but not allowed to have any visitors but family. She was also released early and given 2 weeks to recover, no classes or meetings. So after her near death experience and recovery I couldn’t be around since she was to have no visitors.
    i also felt that she needed space and laid off on texting her too often. during the last month i had a deadline to meet to put my house on the market for sale. I have been working 12 hours a day everyday to meet the deadline, so i havent had anytime to drive out to see her, (30 miles away). so a month passes and the messaging and few calls i made go unanswered, so i text that i wished she would message me, that i dont know whats going on with her except that last messages a week ago were positive sating she missed me too, but i told her im not blind and i can take hints.
    she says she needs to deal with herself, that she doesnt need to deal with a bf thats never there. she says shes tried to tell me over and over what she wanted from me and i just couldnt give it to her, so she cant do this anymore, she says she will always love me but this isnt what she wants in a relationship. thats shes tried long enough and its just not working. she says that my recent absence wasnt the reason, that i lagged to many times, or i’d be prompt for a while and then back to the drawing board… so she says she slowly grew away. she also says that she’s worried about my feelings this long and being that she almost died she is through with worrying about other peoples feelings. it’s all about her, she said, “so we can be friends and i’m sorry. i love you, though, and i’m here for you, so i’m still in your life.” i replied, “im fully committed to you” she replied, “i’m done.”
    She said, “i dont want to fight, i want to stay friends, please dont make this harder for me. like i said i still love you, dont hate me or yourself. im still here for you in your life, just dont make it hard, ok?”

    I apologized. She replied, “dont be sorry, it is what it is, its for the beest we need to both work on ourselves and we can do it better out of a relationship. i’m sorry. it was hard for me to say this but thought loing and hard, please dont blame yourself.” i told her that i imagined a life together with her, that she would make a good wife, and she said, “thanks, but its not going tohappen, its too late i dont want to start over either. we’re friends and that’s that. thank you.”

    i know that being rejected as i did naturally warrants the response to try to save this, as i am the one at a loss now and dont want to be alone. im going to meet her sometime soon to get back an iPod that i gave to her though she already has one, i am a little strapped for cash and we both know she really doesnt need it. at that time i wanted to give her a letter that expresses my feelings in a way that doesnt provoke guilt as is all too easy when trying to convince the other that what they did was, well, wrong? that i am worth it to her as 5 yrs and the things we went though werent for nothing and that the payoff will be worth it. I also have a 5 ruby and 4 diamond sterling silver ring I was going to attach to the letter. I had thought that when the time was right, down the road, that i would use it to propose to her as i saw that she would be right for me… i don’t want to have the ring any longer unless its on her hand and she’s mine, im not interested in the worth of the ring, but i hope that my sincerity in the letter and the ring itself may do something in favor of my want to be with her in a relationship. thoughts? i havent wrote the letter yet or made plans to see her yet, i just wanted seek advice about my plan of action. thoughts?

  • Cliffy N:

    Ok guys I’m in a pretty rough situation so please give me some some advice. I always welcome long explanations!

    I will give points to everyone whenever possible…

    Alright so basically my ex-girlfriend split up around August of this year. She is a sophomore and I am a junior in college right now. We’ve known each other for 4 years since high school and dated for 2 years and 3 months so basically I dated her throughout a year of high school and college and we’re each others first on everything. We still go to the same college.
    I am deeply in love with and still in love with even after 6 months. When she broke up with me, she gave me the reason that she “still needed to grow up” for me and didn’t want to date anyone right now. However I feel like I’m on the back-burner because she said that she would come looking for me when she was ready to date again.
    Now she also says that she still wants me to be her friend because she loves talking to me and still needs me in her life because I have always been there for her in times of when she is stressed and feeling lonely. We still do friends thing like go out for lunch and to the movies and I always pay because I always pay whenever I’m out with a girl. She still calls me consistently (about everyday) asking if I’m alright and seeing how my day went and if I wanted to grab lunch sometimes. The mixed signal part is when she told me that she still cries herself to sleep at night sometimes because she misses me.
    She recently had a crush on my ex-friend about 3 months ago but she said that when he kissed her, she still thought of me. Just the other day she also went to a formal dance with her dorm friend who is female. This is confusing to me because she has always told me that she hated dances and she never went to any in high school except for prom with me which was the last dance she went to. She told me that she danced with another guy but she wasn’t into him. I’m glad she had fun but at the same time I felt kind of crappy. Why do I feel like this and is this normal?
    Also, our sex life has been very confusing to me because the only thing we do now is oral which is about once every two weeks. Now I have a pretty strong sex drive and we used to do it a lot more. She usually makes the first move and when we’re finally about to do it, she always stops me and I usually end up with only my shirt off after we make out. It hurts a lot when I get rejected and I feel down about it. Is that normal also? How come she seems unaffected by our lack of sex? She’s also still on her birth control.
    She still wears my promise ring on her left hand ring finger and still wears my clothes sometimes. Does this mean anything? She also treats her friends that she met this year differently than me because whenever I come over to visit she’s always too busy to do something with me but when her friend’s ask her to do something, she says yes to them. She’s really bad at saying no to other people. My ex also says that she’s tired of telling everyone that we’re not going out even though all her friends are pushing us to get back together.
    What should I do now? I’m so confused about everything that’s been going on? Should I still be her friend? What does it mean that she still needs to grow up? I don’t want to leave her forever if I still have a chance. If possible could you guys please analyze everything by my paragraphs? I’m just feeling really bad about the whole thing.

    -Struggling Hearted College Student

  • lets roll:

    Ok guys I’m in a pretty rough situation so please give me some some advice. I always welcome long explanations!

    I will give points to everyone whenever possible…

    Alright so basically my ex-girlfriend split up around August of this year. She is a sophomore and I am a junior in college right now. We’ve known each other for 4 years since high school and dated for 2 years and 3 months so basically I dated her throughout a year of high school and college and we’re each others first on everything. We still go to the same college.
    I am deeply in love with and still in love with even after 6 months. When she broke up with me, she gave me the reason that she “still needed to grow up” for me and didn’t want to date anyone right now. However I feel like I’m on the back-burner because she said that she would come looking for me when she was ready to date again.
    Now she also says that she still wants me to be her friend because she loves talking to me and still needs me in her life because I have always been there for her in times of when she is stressed and feeling lonely. We still do friends thing like go out for lunch and to the movies and I always pay because I always pay whenever I’m out with a girl. She still calls me consistently (about everyday) asking if I’m alright and seeing how my day went and if I wanted to grab lunch sometimes. The mixed signal part is when she told me that she still cries herself to sleep at night sometimes because she misses me.
    She recently had a crush on my ex-friend about 3 months ago but she said that when he kissed her, she still thought of me. Just the other day she also went to a formal dance with her dorm friend who is female. This is confusing to me because she has always told me that she hated dances and she never went to any in high school except for prom with me which was the last dance she went to. She told me that she danced with another guy but she wasn’t into him. I’m glad she had fun but at the same time I felt kind of crappy. Why do I feel like this and is this normal?
    Also, our sex life has been very confusing to me because the only thing we do now is oral which is about once every two weeks. Now I have a pretty strong sex drive and we used to do it a lot more. She usually makes the first move and when we’re finally about to do it, she always stops me and I usually end up with only my shirt off after we make out. It hurts a lot when I get rejected and I feel down about it. Is that normal also? How come she seems unaffected by our lack of sex? She’s also still on her birth control.
    She still wears my promise ring on her left hand ring finger and still wears my clothes sometimes. Does this mean anything? She also treats her friends that she met this year differently than me because whenever I come over to visit she’s always too busy to do something with me but when her friend’s ask her to do something, she says yes to them. She’s really bad at saying no to other people. My ex also says that she’s tired of telling everyone that we’re not going out even though all her friends are pushing us to get back together.
    What should I do now? I’m so confused about everything that’s been going on? Should I still be her friend? What does it mean that she still needs to grow up? I don’t want to leave her forever if I still have a chance. If possible could you guys please analyze everything by my paragraphs? I’m just feeling really bad about the whole thing.

    -Struggling Hearted College Student

  • Jermaine J:

    No specific question when I’m starting writing this, just ranting, MAY turn into a question if I’m lucky.

    Little bit of back story- Girl I go out with for 2 sets of 6-8 months over a 3 year period. Fall in love with her, and she’s my everything. Then out of the blue, breakup for no explicit reason, no other guy involved, and says me and her will never happen again. Of course, teenage talk, I don’t count that as definite as she’s trying to come across as, but I am aware the relationship is done for the time being.

    So, I still love her (though I’m not naive enough to think she wants me back), as love is a permanent thing IMO, and she occasionally comes up in conversation when i walk to a friend about relationships. I talk to my friend about girls I like at the moment, and how when I look for new girls I like them to be pure, etc. etc., and said I was worried about my ex because she’s the kind of girl that’s really prone to giving herself away like that. Well, my moron friend texts this girl and asks her if she’d do that kind of thing (-.-) and as a result, she says I’m paranoid and blocks me on facebook.

    Well, I lived with it, until my parents come talk to me about some secrets that had popped up regarding our relationship. Turns out she HAS been on the path to messing up, and my worries were well-founded, even though everything everyone had told me until this point had said the opposite.

    Well, now I don’t know what to feel. I love this girl with everything I am, and it hurts to find out that she’s heading towards hurting herself (emotionally). My natural instinct is that I want to just be there, take the place of the guy that plans on nothing but using her, and love her. On the other side of that, she’s broken up with me and said she doesn’t want me back. The issue I have with that is that there was no reason for this, and if there WAS a reason then that will have to be resolved.

    So…. I need to talk to her. I can’t quite figure out why I feel this way so strongly, or what exactly I need to say, but I NEED to talk to her (thought that’s a little more complicated than it sounds, as I’ve moved off to college). I don’t know if exposing my feelings, my love for her, regardless of any choices she may have made in the past year or so, would be a good idea or a bad idea… Would it open her eyes and make her realize that what she had with me was a good deal and want it back? Or would it close her off forever?

    Also, HOW would I talk to her? Our families are friends, so we may see each other over the summer sometime, or Christmas break or sometime when I’m actually visiting my parents. If this doesn’t happen, maybe I would go out of my way to actually go to HER house (which would mean something in and of itself, considering I barely take the time to drive to wal-mart 2 minutes away, much less drive 4 hours with no expectation but to get rejected). But even then, it needs to be a private conversation, and I need to find a way to get her to come have a serious conversation alone with me. And I’ve found that if she plainly just doesn’t want to answer a question, she’ll just say “ok,” to everything I say, making it difficult to make any progress.

    Also, let’s assume I actually get in a relationship with another girl sometime in the next 6 months (very possible). I would still love this ex (though I’m an honest guy, ZERO chance of cheating going on). Would is still be possible to have a conversation about how I really, REALLY care about her and wanting to clear up the issues between us without being just a total loser towards the current girlfriend? Or would it just be better for me to (attempt to) ignore it all and shift all attention to the new girl?

    So confused. Don’t know what to feel, what to do, what to anything. UUGGGGHHHH. And just to encourage input- Similar experiences and what you did? If you were said girl, how would you react to the things I’m semi-planning? What do I do in the meantime? etc. etc.

    And just to clarify- I’m NOT the pscyho-ex type. I haven’t stalked other than occasionally checking a facebook page, small talk if she was online. I avoided texting completely, didn’t attempt to force another relationship, no creepy phone calls, etc. It’s just an honest love for this girl, no creepiness attached. Oh, and sorry this was so long. I’m a freakin Comp-Sci major, me writing this much crap is WAY out of my norm. That’s how torn up I am atm 0_o

  • JimT:

    This is what happened, my guy friend liked me in middle school, i heard from a friend and i didn’t know how to react so i avoided him plus i didn’t like him at the time since i didn’t know that much about him that was in 7th grade, in 8th grade i asked him out but he couldn’t give me an answer so i gave up, in sophomore yr of high school i started to like him again and gave him a something on valentines day but he liked someone else so i gave up, in junior yr he finally got with somebody but it was a weird relationship since the girl he got with moved to our school for a week and then moved to Florida thus they had a long distance relationship, now senior year he broke up with his girlfriend 2 or 3 weeks ago ,but it feels like after he broke up with her, my feelings for him have come back. I can’t even tell if his relationship with his ex was even serious since they only met each other for a week,but anyways i feel like telling him my feelings seriously this time since were both older and its different now then before but I’m scared he’ll reject me because of what had happened back then and cause maybe he has moved on, plus i wanted to ask him to go with me to military ball and prom but if i confess my feelings to him I’m scared we’ll be awkward as friends for the rest of senior yr and that i wont be able to ask him to any of those dances but another side of me says go tell him cause this will be the last year I’ll get the chance to be with him and plus its senior yr , I gotta try to do all the things i wanted to do without any regrets so do you think i should tell him or i should just really finally give up this time?:/ Also i have been wearing this ring on a necklace(cause i just like them) recently and he noticed it cause he came up to me to talk about it but after he saw that he’s been avoiding , my other friend noticed my ring necklace and thinks it means something special from someone but I’m scared my guy might have misunderstood something that’s why he’s avoiding me :/

  • rndmaktn:

    I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.

    I dated this girl from June until January, but I was always kind of distanced, physically and emotionally. Physically because, except for 3 months of it, she lived about 300 miles away. Emotionally, because I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Up until her, I had only ever kissed a girl, but with her, I did a lot more, and that scared me. The physicality of the relationship kind of drove me away, and I was never there for her how a good boyfriend would have been.

    Still, she cared about me SO much. She would drive down to visit me and spend the weekends with me whenever she could, she called and texted me all the time, she did whatever she could to make me happy, and I loved the way she would hold my hand when I put it over her shoulder and walk with me like that.

    Anyway, eventually she couldn’t take how distanced and uncommitted I was, and she told me she really cared about me, but since I didn’t know what I wanted, she needed a break, just to be fair to her, and that we could reassess where we were in the summer.

    During this break, she eventually began dating another guy, who she has now been dating ever since… which is about 2 1/2 months now.

    When I first found out about this, I kind of had a panic attack and tried to talk to as many people as I could to take my mind off of it. Eventually, I came to accept it because I wanted her to be happy.

    Still, she would always text mutual friends and ask how I was doing and tell them that she really missed me, and tell them that everything in the city reminded her of me, and that she wanted to see me, but she said she was really happy with her new boyfriend, nonetheless.

    Two weeks ago, I got an email from her telling me about the same: she’s sorry we ended that way, she had no intention to start dating someone else, and she really cared about me and missed me a lot and wanted to still see me and find a way to be friends because she wanted me in her life.

    After some debate, I emailed her back… and we’ve since started texting a little bit, too… and I have begun to miss her so much and realize what a good person I kind of threw to the side by neglecting her.

    Now she lives not too far from me, about an hour… and her boyfriend lives about 10 hours away for the summer… and she told me she wanted to see me because she really missed me… so I went to visit her.

    She just wanted it to be a quick visit, but it turned into about a 4-hour visit. She told me she forgot how much she cared about me, and how funny I was, and she eventually put her head on my shoulder and held my hand and started crying terribly. I kissed the top of her head and told her everything would be okay and that I was glad she was happy now. She said, “I am happy, but I could have been happy with you… where were you?” Then she started crying even more. I told her I was really sorry, but I was just in a weird place, and I really missed her too and wished I would have done things differently because I would never find someone who cares about me as much as she did.

    She then put her face close against mine and moved in to kiss me… our lips touched a little bit, but she pulled away and said this wasn’t fair to her boyfriend… and then she started crying again… she said, “I want to be friends with you still, but I just think it will be hard because I still have feelings for you, but I really do like my boyfriend a lot.”

    I said that’s okay, he sounds like a great guy, and whatever happens, I’ll always love you. She came in to kiss me again, and I put my hand between us and said, we shouldn’t do this… anyway, she kept hugging me and crying and holding my hand, and talking about all the things we used to do that she loved… and then she had to go, so she left. But before she left, she started crying again and said… I do want to be your friend… but we can’t text all the time, and we can’t see each other all the time, okay? I said okay, and she gave me a big hug, and cried and cried… and then she left.

    I realized in my 2-3 months of not talking to this girl, that I really do love her and wish we could have a future together, but I was stupid and careless. In the end, I want her to be happy, but I want her to be mine, too. I kind of feel like our souls are interwoven, if that makes any sense. I’m willing to let her go if that’s what she wants, but I do sincerely hope she will fly back to me. She always told me she wanted me to fight for her, and show that I really wanted her… but should I do that now, in this new situation? Or should I just let her be where she needs to be, give her all the space she needs and deserves, and just quietly hope for the best? What should I do? What would you do?

  • skillz:

    both of us are 18, i was the one to devirginize her, and her me, and we’ve been together for more than a year now, but even so her relationship with her brother, cousin, and uncle has been more ‘cute’ and probably more open than with me. Also the way she acts around them is more enthusiastic and i could’ve sworn she was a different person when she’s with them, at times even ignoring me completely whenever i’m also with them. She had spent her adulthood with these male relatives who are roughly the same age/maturity as her, and now live with them in a house with one room and sleeps a few feet away from them.

    I only suspect incest, but due to some circumstances, my suspicion has increased, I’ve also kept track of some of her Freudian slips, as well as some of her biggest lies to me, here’s a list:

    1. Her first love and first kiss was with a girl older than her (she was 14, and her girlfriend was in college, they broke-up after a year), to which she confessed of being a lesbian. She still shows signs of being bisexual even when we’re in a relationship.

    2. She’s had a relationship with her 5th cousin (male) back when she was 16, this lasted for 6 months.

    3. She’s extremely close with her first cousin (male) and would even take pictures with him and hug him while he’s shirtless.

    4. Once when i was sick with dengue fever and had a chance of dying, instead of coming to me at the hospital she hung out with her cousin and brother and watched movies with them, and even lied to me about where she was when i was sick.

    4. She completely ignores me whenever we’re out with her brother and cousin.

    5. She’s usually calm and inhibited when she’s with me but is boastful and provocative when she’s with her male relatives as well as friends and again ignores me, even reaching a point when she acts like she’s single. Heck the only time she talks to me is when we’re alone together.

    6. She lives and sleeps in a house with her cousin (18y/o), her brother (17), and her uncle (29), and she’s very physical with them, and she has no complaints with her skinny brother teasing her after he had just bathed, whereas she rejects all my sexual teases after having just bathed.

    7. She saw the list of US States which permit marriages with cousins and was very fascinated by it, she even exclaimed ‘cool!’ in my presence.

    8. We have sex regularly (twice a week at least), but i was surprised when she had yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis, with the latter, can be incurred when having multiple sex partners. I mean shit, how else would she get that? she doesn’t douche, and doesn’t smoke. She takes pills though, but it’s still suspicious.

    9. I regularly call her everyday, and i even warn her about my calls prior to calling, but am surprised that she doesn’t pick up almost always immediately whenever she’s at home. and when she does, the signal would always be crappy, and i’d text her that i couldn’t call her and that she didn’t see the missed calls but the list was there when i checked her phone.

    10. She lied to me about not answering her ex’s (5th cousin) calls. They actually had a conversation, and she even accidentally pressed conference once and i overheard a second of their conversation.

    11. Recently, when at home, she’s become way too sensitive and drops my calls almost always, and wouldn’t answer for about 20 minutes to an hour (i recall our sex usually lasts as long, including the cleanup), she would answer afterwards saying that she took a bath (at 12 midnight?), or did the laundry (again at 10-12 at night?), or just didn’t hear the phone because it was in silent even when she knew i would be calling. She then becomes furious afterwards if i ask again what took her.

    12. She becomes very deflective and/or defensive and completely anxious whenever i ask her opinion about incest, like she’s guilty or something.

    13. Ok this is what actually shocked me; she loves being called big sis whenever we have sex, and i found out it makes her more wet. What the hell does that mean?!

    Well this may be the 13 reasons to end our relationship, but i really cant conclude unless i have obtained evidence of actual incest or opinions. I tried confronting her about this but she just becomes to evasive and changes her mood suddenly and makes me feel guilty for opening up. I’d like anyone’s constructive criticism/opinion on my problem. Thanks for reading, now if you could just take this thorn of my chest…

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